Charleston bound

A SAD BEAR GETS MARRIED

Bowties

Still exploring around in the kitchen. It's daunting to approach dinner with a cookbook because you need to have a lot of key ingredients to begin with. Having virtually no spices (aside from salt, pepper, and basil) -- I've started to approach meals completely from scratch, and it isn't half-bad.

Last night I had bow-tie pasta with chicken and a basil lemon-cream sauce, fruit salad, and french bread with olive oil. Orange juice on the side.

Anyone else making anything?

A Dime a Pair

This is the hardest I've laughed since a night long ago in Koon Dorm.

It was just another evening after a full day of work. Vanessa was napping. I was eating her lightly salted organic veggie chips from the bottom of the bag. Before I knew it, they were all gone; her special treat and I had finished them off.
She woke up from her nap and I felt compelled to break the news to her.
"Oh," I said, "chips are all gone."
She was standing in front of the mirror in the bedroom, sleepy eyed, in her underwear. "They better fucking not be!" She said, and she let her bra fall off to her elbows. I collapsed on the bed, laughing silently, shaking, tearing up. It took her a few moments to realize that there was a dime stuck to the underside of her left bosom.
She explained 'she had no where else to put it.'

Hello, my name is Chase. I'm from the East.

In this part of Arizona there's a very defined line of separation between Phoenix and Tucson. Aside from the obvious college rivalry that exists between ASU and UA, people squabble over authenticity, aesthetic, atmosphere, even the superiority of geographic location.

Tucson is hippy/artsy. Phoenix is more cosmopolitan.
Tucson sits at the foot of mountains. Phoenix is in a valley.
Tucson's nightlife looked dead. Phoenix is alive at night.

Yadda, yadda, yadda.

I learned a lot about these mindsets during my recent trip south to Tucson to see Sunset Rubdown perform at a sweet nightclub called Plush.



I'll concede with the locals, there are obvious differences between the two cities. But, I think there's another problem Arizonans need to solve. Of the two concerts I've attended here (The Handsome Furs and Sunset Rubdown), both crowds were (in the words of Dave Frank) "offensively lame."

Here are some examples:

At The Handsome Furs:

One of the openers, The Cinnamon Band (consequently, from Staunton, Virginia), was playing...and then turned to the crowd and said, "Hey guys you can come closer to the stage." And it was true, the nearest person was probably 6 feet away from them.

People hesitated, but before long one man broke the silence, yelling, "Yeah but your box amp is too loud!"

Not only did the crowd refuse to move forward, creating an awkward tension between the band and the audience...but some idiot came to a concert and complained about the volume. Needless to say the Cinnamon Band was pretty sarcastic throughout the rest of their set...and rightfully so.

Later...

The Handsome Furs were playing. By this time everyone was packed in and it was pretty lively. Dan Boeckner stopped between songs to talk about how much he loved the desert and the cacti and such. He said he was really wowed by the "Jumping Cholla" cactus, that seems to attack people.

But a guy in the very front row, shouted and began to explain, in excrutiating detail, how they don't really attack people, but the biological reaction their spines have when they brush up against something makes them appear to attack.

...

Someone in the audience yelled an obscenity about the explainer and assured Boeckner of the cactus' danger.


At Sunset Rubdown:

So the band is playing, the crowd is alright. Between songs Spencer Krug looks up, obviously excited to be in the desert, and says, "Do you all ever just find yourselves driving through the desert and listening to The Doors? Because that's what we did today."

And some idiot (about 4 feet away from him) says, "Why would you drive through the desert -- and why would you listen to The Doors?!"

Oh Jesus. Mark Perkins and I exchanged horrified glances, him ashamed of his hometown, me disgusted by the Southwest. Even worse, Krug looked just as mortified.

To add insult to injury, the crowd barely cheered for an encore. They just sat there, occasionally shouting something (i.e. Mark and I)...it was clear the entire band was put-off. But they were feeling forgiving, I think, and played one more.

Even still, the show was a lot of fun:



---

I'm trying to nail it down. Maybe it's regional? Certainly not. How could that be possible? Does the entire southwest suffer from this lame-crowd syndrome?

There are amazing things about Arizona. The desert is as cool as people who've never seen it imagine it to be. The art scene in Phoenix is consistently rated among the top ten in the U.S., and the number of things to do forces me to make tough decisions each weekend.

Still, when I introduce myself, I'm always thinking of ways to slip my regional background into conversation. There's still something about the locals that make me proud to originate from a separate region. When it comes down to it, the offenses at these concerts would never happen in Detroit.

A good driver is hard to find

italics indicate Reist voice
*ahem*

"'We've had an ACCIDENT!' the children screamed in a frenzy of delight."
-Flannery O'Connor, "A Good Man is Hard to Find"

Some sound advice: beware Glenstone Ave. in Springfield, Mo., especially between the hours of noon and 1 p.m. Central Daylight Time. You might have an ACCIDENT!



Well, shit. If only I'd known. It was totally his fault though (the guy behind me who pushed me into the car in front of me). Maybe I'll make a diagram later.

Really, though, all this does it pull the City of Springfield even further down a notch. It's been on my "On Notice" list ever since my Bob Barker fiasco.

I have to go back to that godforsaken place tomorrow (in my spiffy new rental Jetta) to get the crap out of my car at the barbed-wire lot on Commercial Drive. Yeah, it's as shady as it sounds ("Floyd's Wrecker Service"— the card the guy gave me had only a number and no address...no surprise why).

Maybe I can find the Springfield Cardinals there after my harrowing experience and they can single-handedly pull the city into my top five (top five cities in the Great State of Missouri, that is...later I'll compile that list, too).

Doubt it, though...they're still the freakin' Cardinals.

So, how was your Friday?

Tragicomedy

The Comedy of the Cliff
Perhaps deceiving, this image shows the crashwagon in peril, perched at the edge of a ditch better described as a cliff.

It was 9 a.m. when I arrived at a train bridge to photograph volunteers repainting a mural. With the 55 mph highway in mind, I strayed far onto the shoulder before parking. Forty minutes later, my rear-wheel drive was coaxing the back of my wagon over the edge of a 15-foot embankment full of vegetation and trees. I paused, reoriented my wheels and made one more effort. I envisioned a barrel roll into the bush: a foolhardy destruction. And I called it quits and called a tow truck.

Meanwhile ...

The Comedy of Lynchburg
Katie's new N-V position (which comes with an office) is not without its share of new never-seen co-workers at the printing press some 60 miles away. But before today -- a day featuring the Comedy of the Cliff and chicken burned by crock pot -- she had never made clear how awesome the faceless pressman might be.

Known only by voice, they are: H.T. Bear, Allen, Larry, and Larry (who goes by Allen).

Cooking for one?

I know that Katie and I make two, but we're not sold on the idea that cooking for one is too difficult or too expensive. Disagreement is welcome.

In the meantime, here are a few dishes that have become staples (and please share your suggestions), mixed in with our tips about stretching ingredients:

1. Veggie stretch
Your veggies don't need to go bad. In a given week, we'll come home with three bell peppers, an onion, and a X-factor veggie (tomato, scallion, cucumber). We'll use those in a salad (which stretches over multiple lunches/dinners), then in quesadillas, and to bolster a simple pasta. No waste.

2. Salad boost
A salad is so much better with a dash of fruit, nuts, or croutons in addition to the core lettuce and veggies.

3. Bulk section
Everything in the bulk section is cheap. Good for snacks: banana chips, craisins, dates, and non-pareils chocolates. Also good for nuts for salad and oatmeal.

4. Menu planning
Even with our staple dishes, we still let veggies turn to garbage (compost) if we don't plan out a weeklong menu before heading to work Monday morning. With all the bonus wedding paper around, we write out fancy little menus and try to stick to them. Mixed among ambitious meals are super simple pastas, frozen pizzas, baked potatoes, or other non-recipe items.

5. Katie's suggestion
"Bake lots of cakes because they taste good."